Be Kind to Yourself
01. Jun, 2012 
27 Comments
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Be Kind to Yourself
My business venture, EstuaryMagicks, has been kicking around in one form or another for years. I longed to pursue a creative career, but I was too busy trying to balance housework, my jobs, frequent moves, health problems, and the sinister shadow of student loan payments.
It was the burnout that made me commit. Last November, I came home from work and collapsed against my husband, sobbing. “I can’t do it any more,” I said for the hundredth time, and he said, “What if you don’t?”
That was the beginning. By mid-january I had moved to a very part time position, and I found myself at home with an Etsyshop, a semi-coherent brand, and a wall of complete terror. Okay, I told myself, Make something. Make something good. And when I hadn’t made anything brilliant by the end of the week, I was a disaster of guilt and anxiety.
I needed to let go of the pressure. I left the traditional working world because the high-stress work environments were not only wearing me out, but draining my ability to create. But, lo and behold, I came home and reinvented the pressure in my own living room, and it almost destroyed my fledgling career.
It is vital that we, as small business owners, get work done regularly and get it done on time. A lapsed blog will lose followers, a late order will anger customers — that’s undeniable. But your best work will not happen when you are riddled with guilt.
So I redefined success. I told myself, if you make or list one item today, then you have succeeded. By those standards, I would be filing for bankruptcy in a year, but I needed to learn a lesson. So I made a dreamcatcher. The next day I listed it. Success, I said. The next day, I made and listed another dreamcatcher, and was surprised to find it wasn’t even lunch time. I could make another one, I thought, consumed by a feeling of wonder.
My definition of daily success is more complicated now — pack and mail orders, maintain social networks (as briefly as possible), put in some time on my novel, work on my new product line, eat at least one full serving of vegetables for lunch, etc — but on the bad days, the bleary days of stress and exhaustion, I scale it back down. If all else fails, I create something, anything, and when the day is done, I say, good job.
EstuaryMagicks is still very much a baby. I have a long way to go before it will be a reliable bastion of personal income, but I know that I can last in the long term. I won’t collapse halfway to the finish line.
How do you balance productivity with caring for yourself?
Gypsy Sauerwein is the creative multitasker behind EstuaryMagicks. In addition to selling earthling-friendly wares on Etsy, she writes fiction and illustrates. She teaches CreativityClasses that help children connect many genres of inspiration.
About The Author
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I meditate! A LOT! Couldn’t make it without that. Oh, and also tea.
Oooh, tea, that sounds lovely.
I can see your personal peace come through in your work, too~
I can definately relate to this. I had a melt in down Oct 2012 due to “day job work overload” and I had to “re-invent” my idea of success. No, not re-invent… it was more a question of accepting that my idea of success doesn’t necessarily correspond to the society’s idea of success. Once I did that, I could let go of so much. I dropped to half time and could finally focus on creating. And breathing.
When I need a moment to steady myself, I breath… slow, long breaths and I remind myself that I set the rules now. I decide how to live. And I don’t want to live a stressful life anymore. Somehow that works.
And coffee. Always coffee.
/anna-karin
Deep breaths — always a good idea.
As terrible as it is to have a meltdown (I experienced something similar) ~ it can really be a gift to teach you about the important things in life.
Turns out, favoring the important things over a larger paycheck has always improved my life.
Thank you! Such a needed post, especially for artisans who have needed day jobs to provide a steady source of income, who have children to raise or elderly family to care for…or all of the above. One listing at a time, one sale at a time.
It’s really true! Those other things you’re doing are important, too — so you don’t want your shop to be a source of guilt. Art should be rejuvenating, even as it is draining.
A great post! thank you-when I keep it simple, and just show up for work in my studio, and do what I love, the rest of what I am doing falls into place more easily. When my focus is always $ and what if’s, than things shut down and I get stuck. Self kindness and care are always a good thing!
It’s true — and yet somehow really easy to forget. When we do things for the right reasons, I think the universe acknowledges that.
Oh gosh! This sounds like me! I work a full time job in finance and my creativity is my sanity. I exercise or seek out creative inspiration from lovely pictures or art galleries. I will make time to read I want to make time for mu novel as well, even though I have not figured it out yet.) I do take advantage of slower periods. I do not push the shop as much when orders are slower and let myself have a day or two before the orders roll in again. Also, I am blessed to have a great husband and shipping department named DAN!
Hah, yep, it’s nice to have a husband who’s on board. <3
Novels are tricky because they're so demanding one minute, and then running away to hide the next. But I never regret putting in time on mine~
thanks for such valuable advice, I have just started as self emplyed, trying to make sure I do have time off..but I am loving it!
That’s great! Loving what you do is so energizing~
Great article. If find it hard to stay motivated myself and on task with some of my daily duties in the summer months and this is when I should be readying myself for the Christmas season.
Christmas, yikes — you’re way more on the ball than me. Then again, from the looks of your shop (adorable!) you must be a popular holiday destination.
When my head starts swirling and that overwhelming feeling (stress, I think they call it) surfaces, I turn to To-Do Lists. Even if I get only one thing crossed off, they help me focus and feel good about my day, much like your Get One Thing Done philosophy! Thanks for the great thoughts.
That’s true — having a list makes it much less terrifying.
Very nice article and is a reminder to me to do the things I need to do.
Thank you — your work is lovely, so keep it up~
Thanks for the article. I, too, as a full time worker, I have to remember that my work is out in cyber world being looked at by people, and that is good.
Now during the summer months (I am a teacher) I focus my work to make a lot of items for the coming months.
That’s a great balance, I think.
I teach part-time (preschool) and I’ve found that the children remind me to do what I love and not to stress out too much.
As a person who works a demanding high-stress 50-hour-a-week day-job, runs an etsy shop, writes a blog and has a demanding personal life I can certainly agree: One step at a time will eventually win the race. I personally find that practicing my craft always gives my mind the space it needs to feel more confident and calm. Thanks for reminding me of that!
I’m with you on this one. Being a do-it-all person, I enjoy the relaxation the creations of my items brings. it’s a nice break from trying o do 50-million things at once in order to get everything done that need to be done.
I’m impressed by your time management skills~~
But I can see the calm in your work.
Such a great article and so true…I left the day job because of stress and see myself putting the same pressures on myself at home.
I make sure to take a few moments for myself each day…like a walk in the garden, to clear my head and remember why I chose this in the first place
I love the concept of your shop.
And I’m glad to speak to your stress — I think all of us do better work when we’re less uptight.
I can relate to this! I think a lot of us who have left or scaled back our full-time jobs can fall into the trap of pressuring ourselves. Like, just because we love what we do in our business, we should want to be doing it PERFECTLY and CONSTANTLY and never want to rest or take a break or try out something new that might fail. And god forbid we go a day or two without sales because clearly that means we are not working hard enough!
Just this week I’ve been toying with the concept of maybe NOT forcing myself out of bed super early each day so that I don’t feel like a huge slacker….and instead honoring the fact that I’m a night person and do my best work then. Radical thinking, I know!
It’s a truly beautiful thing! I am encountering the same thing — it’s time to stop pretending that 7 am is my time to shine. ;3